150832

Joke of the Day

"""I work with computers."" ""Do you know a lot about computers?"" ""I know they're heavy."" (forgot the comics name, he was on Jay Leno long ago)"

"3 (calls out): daddy I'm cleaning the floor with a mob. Me: you mean a mop? (enters to see 100 people licking the floor) no ok that's a mob"

"That awkward moment at a feminist picnic when they realize no one made sandwiches."

"What does an Indian man get when he works out? Sikh gains. I made this up too! Although this joke has probably been said before"

"Say what you will about Clinton being a womanizer But Bush had the Twins go down on him."

"Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas."

"Bumper stickers are how we tell people we only had $1.50 to spend on a belief system."

"How does a baby Wookie get around? Ewoks"

"How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate"

"Just took a short nap, although I wouldn't exactly call it a cat nap since I didn't lay on anyone's clothes or laptop like a total asshole."