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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a tuna and a piano? You can tuna piano but you cannot piano a tuna."

"You're Immature My girlfriend said that I'm too immature I said if I'm immature than why have i got an arsfor She said wats an arsefor I said shitting and giggled for 20 mins"

"Teacher: What's a robin? Fred: A bird that steals ma'am."

"A lady happily tells her husband, holding a testpack result. ""Darling, I'm pregnant!"" Tears running the husband's eyes, he says ""Hi pregnant, I'm dad"""

"""Mom, I hate the word, 'Hemorrhoid'. It's like a weird planet. Hi,I'm Hemorroidian! Or oh no! A hemorrhoid is headed 4 Earth!"" -my 12yr old"

"I'm not exactly Jew. I'm just Jewish."

"My friend said he was going to become a mime I haven't heard from him in a while"

"There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes......how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?"

"Telling my friends that I prefer twitter over facebook is like when a white girl brought a black guy home for dinner in the '60s"

"I got 99 problems... and having a triple-digited number of problems ain't one."