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Joke of the Day

"Hairdresser: How much should I trim off the back? Me: Leave it long enough for him to wrap around his fist twice."

"I named my penis the truth - Because women can't handle it."

"Why is a baby like an diamond? Because it's a dear little thing."

"Americans are getting stronger Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"This evening I watched a Series of Unfortunate Events Then I turned off the news and watched Netflix."

"I wonder if all the other popcorn kernels in the bag freak out when the first kernel pops"

"You find my yoga pants distracting... ...would you like me to take them off?"

"You don't need to learn how to masturbate, It comes naturally."

"The punchline was in the title Why did all the redditors downvote the joke?"

"Gas dropped to 77 cents a gallon in some places in Michigan. But don't bother, it was leaded."