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Joke of the Day
"Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because he found it soda pressing."
Next Joke
"[Commercial for lawnmowers] [Exhausted looking guy stood in his garden] *Stabs a long sword into the grass* ""There has to be a better way"""
"Q: Why do blondes like tilt steering???? A: More head room"
"My 6 year old has already asked me 4,327 questions this morning. I'm seriously considering getting another Vasectomy just to be safe."
"Dating Fails: Just Tell Me What You Want And Be Done With It a guy asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat he guess shusi and anything else then got mad and raged the end"
"I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities."
"What kind of pictures do turtles take? Shellfies!"
"cows are pretty nice to us considering that we eat them"
"The most toxic community... Of course, Britney Spears is the person with the most Toxic community..."
"""Dad, I'm suicidal."" ""Hi suicidal, I'm dad."""