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Joke of the Day

"Cinco De Mayo Cinco De Ketchup Cinco De Mustard Cinco De Siracha Cinco De Ranch Dressing"

"What is a hemophiliac's least favorite song? Don't stop ble-eding (The pause is necessary)"

"Do you know what my dad and Brad Pitt have in common? Neither came to my birthday party"

"Historically speaking, tanning under the sun first began in France during the bronzage."

"a muslim couple goes hunting and accidentally shot an ape. ""ouch, that's a shame. can we eat him so he wouldn't die in vain?"" said the girl. ""no, we cant"" the guy replied. ""why?"" ""it's Haram, Bae"""

"JESUS: heaven... must be missing an angel ME: o gee thamk u jesus ur so sweet JESUS: hehe ME: hehe JESUS: time to send u back ME: wait no what"

"It is a scientific fact that the gravitational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!"

"What's the best thing about being a meth addict? Only four more sleeps 'til Christmas!"

"[being murdered] Me: did you get that knife out of the dishwasher Murderer: ...yes Me: and you didnt empty it Murderer: [murder roles reverse]"

"Red light special: that smug look that you give the driver who was speeding and cut you off then ended up beside you at the red light."