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Joke of the Day

"I know I'm getting old when I see a beautiful 19 year old girl and I wonder what her mother looks like."

"Venice, Italy What do you get from a frisky, naked old Venetian man who can't get it up and has difficulty walking? Canal."

"What's a vaccines favorite song? Shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots shots"

"I tried to take up juggling... But I just didn't have the balls... I'm not even sorry"

"Have you ever tried eating your watch? It's time consuming"

"___________________________________ With all the bad jokes going around, I had to draw the line somewhere."

"Why are there only 239 beans in Irish stew? Because one more, and it'd be too farty."

"My wine drinking is merely functional... My personality is better with a little marinade."

"When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can say ""Oh yeah, you need me NOW, huh?"""

"Two tectonic plates are having a heated argument... They seem to have diverging opinions."