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Joke of the Day
"Whats the dumbest animal in the jungle? Polar bear"
Next Joke
"If a mute kid swears does his mother wash his hands with soap?"
"DOCTOR: You've suffered a brain injury. It's affected your hippocampus ME:What? Lol sorry I was picturing hippos at college. Who are u again"
"If used correctly, Twitter can be used as an antidepressant. Just don't take it as a suppository."
"Q: What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets? A: An onion."
"My wife accused me of being immature... I told her to get out of my fort."
"How many nails are there in a lesbian's coffin? None. It is all tongue and groove"
"""Nailed it."" -inventor of crucifixion"
"If u want to get out of a conversation in public just say ""I've gotta take this"" then steal the nearest for-sale item and get arrested."
"Drunkenly changed my voicemail to ""if you like cheese, press 2. Para Spanish, press cheese. To hear more cheeses, say goooo-DA"""