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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I feel like I've traveled back in time, and that I'm not supposed to do anything that screws up a future that I've forgotten."

"I'm ""yells at people who drive too fast in my neighborhood"" years old"

"What do a cell phone and anal bleach have in common? They both change your ring tone"

"You know why matter is fond of using the metric system? Because a lot of it is Pro-ton"

"I figured out why we abbreviate BlowJob with BJ 'cuz it's a mouthful"

"I've just realised that I've got one of those cool body types that can eat whatever I want and get fat."

"What do you get when you plant a loaf of bread? A bakery."

"Why did Monica Lewinsky vote Republican? Because Democrat left a bad taste in her mouth!"

"What did the dad say to Michael Jackson at the beach? ""Get out of my son!"""

"The neighbor's wife is gonna be so happy when she sees how much yardwork he got done today. -I think, laying out in a bikini in my backyard"