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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a pizza joke? Nevermind it's too cheesy."

"Why won't women ever play in the NHL? Because the periods would take too long."

"What did Helen Keller's friend say to her? (offensive) You should try blind dating."

"What is Satan's favorite headset? S810."

"""Gotta wake up early"" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*"

"What is the difference between a black person and a tire? The tire doesn't sing gospels when you put it in chains."

"me: ""okay I might as well just say it..I love you"" girl dinosaur: ""omg u have no idea how long I've waited for u to say that!"" *meteorite*"

"If you lower your expectations, you can never be disappointed... Lower them too far, and you'll end up in line for the new iPhone."

"I hate it when.. I hate it when my black friend disappears in the dark, My white friend in snow, My Chinese friend in sand, And my Middle-Eastern friend in drone strikes."

"How do you know when your best friend is gay? When his dick tastes like shit"