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Joke of the Day

"In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed"

"The restraining order doesn't mean we can't hangout. It just says I can't get within 50 ft of you. So you wanna play catch or Frisbee or something?"

"What do you get when you cross Godzilla, saved by the bell, and crystal meth? Go go power rangers!"

"Why do they call camels 'ships of the desert'? Because they are full of Arab semen."

"Unscramble these words! 1.) PNEIS 2.) HTIELR 3.) NGGERI 4.) BUTTSXE Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?"

"What's a Brazillian's least favorite math chapter to do? 7-1"

"[bedroom] TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I'd never cheat on you. TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay....hey, when did we get that wardrobe?"

"Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up"

"How does Kylo Ren celebrate Father's Day? Solo"

"For some reason I'm only afraid of Middle Eastern spiders... It's O.K. though. My doctor says it's normal to be Iraqnaphobic."