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Joke of the Day

"A rouge English cavalier from the Middle Ages is magically sent into the future to depose Thailand's most ruthless dictator. One knight in Bangkok makes a hard man humble."

"Why did the drunkard ride the escalator To lift his spirits"

"The only time me and a girl orgasmed at the same time,nnShe didn't even know I was in the cupboard."

"I sprayed a fly with Axe body spray. He'll live, but he won't get laid."

"I miss my dog so much since he died, I just paid a homeless guy to come over and take a shit on my kitchen floor and then eat it."

"Why do cannibals prefer to eat blind people? Because with one sense gone they taste really good. Sorry, that was wrong... they taste really well."

"Womb is pronounced 'woom' and tomb as 'toom' So the fact that bomb is pronounced 'bawm' makes my head go fucking *boom*."

"Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? At the calf-eteria."

"What's the NSA's favourite game? I spy."

"My mother always said, ""Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your maid."" When I went to college the dorm had a maid who told us, ""Pick your clothes up off the floor, I'm not your mother."""