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Joke of the Day

"You Know You're Southern When... You know you're southern when your town has more syllables than letters."

"It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet."

"A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat."

"I work in a popular hotel... I see people come in to stay from all over the world, yet for some reason I've never seen a Native American here. I guess they just don't like to make reservations."

"If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"There's an old Irish saying: ""I'm Irish."""

"There's no time capsule quite like the pocket of a coat that's been in the closet for a year."

"Good morning babe! Do you like good girls? [Starts making you breakfast] or bad girls [burns the toast] Him: How did you get in my house?"

"Why did Hitler buy the car when it went on sale? Because he liked the holocost."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octupus laugh? Ten tickles."