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Joke of the Day

"Why do businesses move to India? Because they worship prophets!"

"Why did the hippy teach the lumberjack calculus? So he'd use natural logs!"

"Batman: I told you, if it's mine you have to say bat before it.. Like bat-mobile, bat-arang.. Doctor: Fine, you have bat-herpes"

"I'm on the bus now. Either the woman sitting right next to me has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokemons."

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy. Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked."

"Set of jumper cables walks into a bar... The bartender looks them up and down really slow and says, OK, I'll serve you, but don't be starting anything."

"When you think about it , zombies are fixed humans . You just turn them off and on ."

"A man with anxiety accidentally annoyed the cartel He began seeing a psychiatrist because of hispanic attacks."

"So I just gave birth to a butt baby [NSFW] Well, actually no, it came out in a bunch of pieces so I guess it was more of a butt abortion."