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Joke of the Day

"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub... ...She says ""Show me it's true what they say about black men"". So he stabs her & nicks her purse."

"If you ever feel dumb, remember sometimes sloths grab their own arms thinking they are tree branches and fall to the ground."

"Three blondes walk into a building.... You'd think that one of them might have saw [seen] it."

"What did the perverted scientist say to his colleague? If you need me, I'll be in my Lab."

"I'm not saying women are smarter than men, but its kinda ironic that there's so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders."

"I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die."

"What does the ghost like on his roast beef? grave-y gravy"

"Doctor: It's been weeks since we restored your vision. Thoughts? ""I can't believe that British guy from the Geico commercials is a lizard."""

"I never eat coins in front of vending machines because I don't want them to fall in love with me."

"What do you call a spitting vampire? Spatula."