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Joke of the Day

"So, the Muslim word for sin is haram... ... does that mean a Muslim's sinful girlfriend would be called a... Haram bae? I'll see myself out."

"All of my best ideas involve jail time."

"I once played chess with an Egyptian King... ...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh."

"The next man who calls me deluded is going to regret it when he finds me sitting in his house wearing a wedding dress."

"I had to perform CPR on my girlfriend during sex last night. When she's half-inflated it's just not the same."

"There Once Was A Poet Named Bates, His poems weren't always first rate, His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had, Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line."

"What's the difference between r/politics and r/liberal? None"

"I love being alive but my favorite thing to do is sleep."

"With what did the scuba-diver use to cut seaweed? A sea-saw"

"Jokes are like packages. While the content is important you mustn't forget about the delivery."