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Joke of the Day
"What does $50 get you at the Chanel store? 13 seconds of eye contact."
Next Joke
"Why did ancient Egyptians love beans? They made Tootin' Common."
"Why was there no food left at the Halloween party? Because everyone was a goblin"
"There's always an Obama in relationships. The one that has to compromise, doesn't really get much credit, and never wins, no matter what."
"Life is like a penis Simple, soft, straight, relaxed, and hanging freely. Then women make it hard."
"These pants fit like a cheap hotel... No ballroom."
"What's it called when you sneak into a homosexual wedding? A gay-tecrash Dad joke, right there"
"In honor of 3/14... TIL the man who discovered Pi had his wife, Edith, leave him over his obsession with math. Which just goes to show you, you can't have your Pi and Edith too."
"I tried to explain what integers are It was pointless"
"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? 'Do you smell carrots?'"