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Joke of the Day

"How do you top a truck? tep on the brake tupid"

"What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua? Shorts!"

"What do you call a gay guy in a coma? A tomato"

"[Jail] INMATE: I killed a guy. SCOOBY DOO VILLAIN: I got caught trying to haunt an old warehouse by a bunch of teenagers and a talking dog."

"How do you spot a sumo at a feminist rally? Look for the one with shaved legs...."

"As an ornothologist and a pimp I structure payment based on the old saying: A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

"If you are on fire, my advice would be to get off fire."

"I appreciate it when someone tells me to just ""get over it"" when I'm depressed. It gives me a chance to exercise my grave digging skills."

"*adds resume embellisher to resume*"

"Two cannibals were having their dinner. One said to the other 'I don't like your friend.' The other one replied 'Well put her to one side and just eat the greens.'"