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Joke of the Day

"Q: ""What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?"" A: ""You can't tuna fish."""

"Why did the boy who rode his bike over a barbed wire fence miss his music lesson? Because he'd already done the sharps and flats."

"Trump is single-handedly bringing down America. Actually, I take it back. With hands that small, he'd have to use them both."

"Someone told me they were getting colored contacts, and I said ""aren't all their eyes just brown?"" that was a complete misunderstanding."

"I wanted to crack a joke on cooking utensils... ...but it didn't pan out."

"[at my funeral] ventriloquist: please don't judge me, he paid me a lot of money to do this me: hi everybody!"

"Good thing most planes have TVs. Nothings worse than having to look out the window at Earths sacred majesty from the point of view of angels"

"What do you call a guy with 15 rabbits up his arse? Warren."

"What do you call a dog that is underwater? A sub-woofer! Thank you, I'll be here all day."

"The Religious Right. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups."