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Joke of the Day

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that, it's a tie!"

"My grandfather's new 21 year old wife denies she's a gold digger but I think it's a little suspicious she married him less than a week after his death."

"How many Jihadists does it take to change a light bulb? Allah them. (I googled several varations and thus far I believe I am the originator)"

"So ... Helium walks into a bar Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says: ""We don't serve noble gasses here."" Helium doesn't react."

"News says there were a ""record number of marijuana seizures"" in 2015. Weird ... after all these decades I've never had a single seizure."

"Trump isn't bad for the economy. Because of him, Correct the Record increased it's operational budget by 600%."

"My wife doesn't like communism jokes. I capitalize on'em."

"How did Helen Keller get punished? Her mom rearranged the living room"

"USA: ""Hey, Canada, can you hold this for a second?"" Canada: ""OK."" *USA hands Detroit to Canada* *USA quickly walks away.*"

"I just want to buy an old Mercedes Benz,so people will think I have been rich for a long time."