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Joke of the Day

"Why did Adele cross the road? Q: Why did Adele cross the road? A: To sing, ""Hello from the other side!"""

"What car does Luke Skywalker drive? A Toyoda"

"Why does Helen Keller play piano with only one hand? Because she uses the other one to sing"

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"Cilla Black arrived at the pearly gates She was greeted by Saint Peter who asked ""who are you and were do you come from"""

"I don't mind the NSA reading my Word documents. It means that at least someone will read the first draft of my novel."

"If I'm ever on life support, I want you to pull up he plug... Then wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, maybe that'll work."

"Where do Sikhs buy clothes? Turban Outfitters"

"If by mathematician you mean dividing the number of snacks in my car by the number of miles I need to drive, then yes, I'm a mathematician."

"Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row? He was a Die Hard fan."