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Joke of the Day

"Guy: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I'm a Ninja Turtle with my shell on BACKWARDS. Guy: ..... Me: Cowabunga, douche!"

"Which blood type was created by mistake? Type O."

"How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard!"

"Whenever I have sex, it's always a race to see who cums first.... Me or the police."

"Says if you're happy and you know it drop your pants!!"

"Science: I rely on observable data and logic. Religion: I prefer scripture and faith. Astrology: I like turtles."

"I do my best proofreading right after I hit send."

"if 9-5 is a full time job, and 11/4 is a part time job, what's 9-11? An inside job."

"I always thought Hamlet was the story of a small pig."

"What do you call a Jamaican motorcycle? Bob Harley"