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Joke of the Day

"When my wife forgets to fill up the fishtank I lower the ceiling a few inches every day until she remembers."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty"

"What do you call an explosion in a Frencg kitchen? Linoleum Blown-apart."

"Did you hear about the flasher who was thinking about retiring? He decided to stick it out for another year."

"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy!"" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!"

"How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool? Flip it over"

"Tonight's Golden Globes taught us that, no matter how much you spend on surgery, nobody looks good while sweaty."

"What did the hypnotist say when he got his own website.... Hyp Hyp Hooray."

"Do you know where my mexican hat is? - It's somewhere bro.. Fine...a sombrero, but what I'm asking is have you seen it?"

"If God wanted us to save money for retirement he wouldn't have invented online shopping"