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Joke of the Day

"[trying to impress fiancee's entire family] Waiter: Your bill for- Oh I got it! [looks at bill & spits wine] WHO ORDERED THE ""SUBTOTAL""?!?"

"How do you circumsize an Alabama man? Kick his sister in the chin."

"Girl are you a gorilla enclosure Because I want to throw a kid in you."

"I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream"

"What do you call a girl ant who claims she can see the future .... .... clairvoyant"

"The easiest way to get rid of a ghost is to ask him for some rent money or to help with the dishes"

"""I think you'll like her. She's smart, funny, and a libra"" I've never met a libra *is super disappointed when date isn't a lion zebra mix*"

"The David Cameron diet: You'll never lose your pounds quicker."

"If I had a dollar for every joke I've recycled I would have a lot since this is a popular style of joke"

"I think sitting on an airplane is the most exhausting type of sitting."