142816

Joke of the Day

"The worst thing about that guy who posts non-stop gym updates is that all that exercise is gonna make him live longer."

"Where does an Afghan boy go during a drone strike? Everywhere."

"Do you know what the real letdown about John Glenns death is? It's the second time that Yuri Gagarin beat him to it."

"Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every six months about it."

"Next Presidential election, we need to get some guys with beards in there. It's been too long."

"[NSFW] What kind of birds do prostitutes like? Swallows."

"I bet the creator of the artificial heart is pretty pissed that we still use ""sliced bread"" as our basis for great inventions."

"Why did the heart get sent to police station? Cardiac arrest."

"If the British had won, today we'd all be celebrating the Fouurth of July"

"She discovered that a hung jury is nowhere near as exciting as it sounds."