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Joke of the Day

"6 year old: daddy look we've had a whirlpool in our house this whole time! Dad: for the love of god Timmy please get out of the toilet"

"why don't foot fetishists ever win anything? because they like the taste of defeat. i'm not even sorry."

"This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I'm pretty sure ""God"" is trying to kill him."

"Who likes debates Defish"

"What did Mitt Romney say to C3P0? Threepio, hand me those binders, willya?"

"me:(nervously) so I gotta fight one of these things? zookeeper: what? no me: I choose...the polar bear zookeeper: why would you choose that"

"What's the tragedy with little people? They lead such short lives."

"Spider Island Day 1: The arachnids are intelligent & friendly hosts. They even built me a hammock to ensure my comfort. Day 2: I was wrong."

"I tried to catch fog yesterday Mist."

"Only in Canada during a winter storm will you see kids playing road hockey."