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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to live in Abu Dhabi. There's nothing like the bright lights, ritzy real estate, and an occasional public beheading."

"Harry Potter was walking down a hill jk rowling"

"""You, the horse you rode in on AND the horses mother!"" ""What about the horses father?"" ""I already mentioned YOU once!"""

"Back in the day, with $2 bucks you could go to the store and walk out with a bunch of Doritos, and beer. Now they have security cameras."

"the older i get, the more understandable britney's meltdown seems to me"

"What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ? Best vicious of the season"

"What's the difference between going into a sewer system and the government buildings? They're both full of shit, but the government's got more assholes."

"Why could Donald Trump never be a Lannister? Because he never pays his debts."

"It's a bird. It's a plane. No its... ""Steve, you're fired. Air traffic control just isn't for you."""

"Please tell me the grounds around mental hospitals have walking trails called psychopaths running through them."