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Joke of the Day

"Where do you get virgin wool from? Ugly sheep."

"haha how about we make a pact if we're both single in 6 seconds we get married?? haha look how nervous u are. times runnin out tho"

"To a lot of Americans these days, Donald Trump is just starting to sound like a lot of white noise."

"It's everybodies favourite day of the year World IBD day! Ah shit, I'm missing a colon"

"I didn't send Christmas cards this year, what with the economy and all. Mostly I'm just lazy, but blaming the economy is so much more fun."

"I think the implication that you might want to share your Kit Kat with 3 friends seems unreasonable."

"I'm not all that interested in Astronomy but, I really dig Uranus."

"You should've seen my bad spelling. That shit was [sic]."

"The Job Promotion Saudi Arabia just announced that someone was promoted be the new Oil Minister. That would make it a sheikh-up in the government."

"What's the difference between a guitar player and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."