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Joke of the Day

"If a tree farm is planted next to a cornfield ... and over time grows to steal sunlight from the cornfield, would that be farmed robbery?"

"Judge: What is your relationship with the plaintiff? A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979?"

"Today was my first time handling a... ....wet pussy. I didn't realize the risk involved! The cat scratched the shit out of me and eventually escaped from its bath."

"I used to rub my hair together when I was stressed... But now I'm dreading the consequences."

"Have you ever played AD Soraka? It's bananas!"

"A late night booty call woke me from a deep sleep... that damn cricket better have got some!"

"Why aren't kids under the age of 18 allowed to watch videos about duck calls without the consent of a parent? Because they contain a lot of fowl language."

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, will you look at that, it's a tie!"

"Unfair fight. Housewife Holly Holm defeats Rousey with ironing skills... Because she layed her out and starched her ass."

"If you were a Canadian and I were a Canadian and we bumped into each other, who would apologize first? I'm not a Canadian so get out of my fucking way! I'm Walking Here!"