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Joke of the Day

"What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent? A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!"

"Did you know? Statistically, six out of seven Dwarves aren't happy."

"The decision to not set back my clocks last fall is looking pretty good right now."

"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 5, as my basement is still dark"

"What did one snowman say to the other? I think I smell carrots!"

"ME: My cat isn't overweight; she's just big-boned VET: This is a dog"

"Doctor doctor nobody understands me. What do you mean by that?"

"Facebook: Adele is such an inspiration. Instagram: Adele looking beautiful in her gown. Twitter: Adele sounds like a chimney sweeper."

"What do you call a deer... without eyes? No eye deer. without eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. without eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."

"Yo Mamma is So Fat..... when she moons people, they turn into werewolves....."