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Joke of the Day

"They all laughed when I told them I'm going to be a comedian... well...they are not laughing anymore!"

"Who is the most basic Spice Girl? Pumpkin Spice."

"I was watching porn when an ad popped up. It said, ""Want a bigger penis??"" I thought, ""Yes. That's why I'm watching porn."""

"How did the puppeteer meet the President? He pulled some strings."

"Guys love legs. Women, if you can grow more legs that would be a major turn on"

"I don't trust any person who hasn't memorized the fuck out of Bohemian Rhapsody."

"You want to scare someone? Call them."

"Did you hear about the fat chick I fucked on the elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"Damn girl, if you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple... And if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in the hospital every day"

"Whats the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other one is a watermelon"