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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the time Pontius Pilate got really drunk? He ended up nailing Jesus."

"So I'm chatting to this 14 year old on the Internet.. She is funny, flirty, sexy and intelligent and now she's telling me she's an undercover cop, how cool is that at her age!"

"My phone can hold 5000 songs or 1 voicemail from my mom"

"Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal? He wasn't cut out for this."

"Alcohol & Fanta If I Drink Alcohol , I m Alcoholic... If I Drink Fanta, M I Fantastic...?"

"I just blew off some steam and it wouldn't even kiss me afterward."

"Freud had it wrong, women don't have penis envy, men have boob envy. Explains the obesity epidemic and my need to breastfeed daily."

"My son claims he ""loves me,"" but the contents with which he fills diapers he KNOWS I'LL BE CHANGING suggests otherwise."

"Why was the snowman's dog called Frost? Because Frost bites."

"Where do military chaplains buy their regalia? At the army surplice store."