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Joke of the Day

"A well timed ""Have a good day!"" can be a great substitute for ""F*ck you!"" in almost every situation."

"How many hipsters does it take to change a lightbulb? It's a really obscure number and you've probably never heard of it."

"if you told a kid that their parents died or that their balloon flew away, you'd get the same reaction."

"When is the only time you can park like a retard? In a handicapped spot."

"A joke is a lot like a dick A feminist cant take either"

"What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm? One roars with pain and the other pours with rain."

"[Date] Karen: ""You okay?"" Ian: ""I'm undressing you in my mind"" K: ""Okay... you look confused!"" I: ""I've never seen a bra strap like this"""

"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""

"What did one depressed saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support before people think we're nuts!"

"I almost got raped in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously."