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Joke of the Day
"But I meant it as a compliment when I said your baby looks like a pug."
Next Joke
"Why don't witches wear a flat cap? There's no point to it"
"wife: ""he never reacts appropriately, just tell him"" doctor: ""ok, keith we had to remove both your legs"" me: ""where will i keep my car keys"""
"*At the ouija board* Me: Err... mom? Can't we just... Ouija board: A-N-D A-N-O-T-H-E-R T-H-I-N-G"
"Why weren't the baked beans heating up? They were just chilling"
"Why do smart people wear glasses? Because as resolution goes down performance goes up. This is a little bad but...."
"Have you seen www.needleinahaystack.com? Yes but it took ages to find."
"Grammar: The difference between feeling you're nuts, and feeling your nuts."
"I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out."
"How do you starve a black man? Put his food stamps in his work boots."