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Joke of the Day

"A dating site that connects Tupperware containers with lost lids."

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"Watson returns from work one day... and finds Sherlock in bed with a very young girl. ""Christ, Sherlock! How old is this girl?"" ""Elementary, my dear Watson."""
"What's the hardest part of milking a mouse ? Getting it to fit over a bucket !"
"The one who laughs last is the slowest. The one who laughs first has the dirtiest mind."
"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt."
"The guy who developed Fractals.. The guy who developed fractals was Benoit B Mandelbrot, I heard the 'B' stood for 'Benoit B Mandelbrot'"
"A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar The bartender says ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""
"Why do some blondes have bruised belly buttons? Because there are blond guys too."
"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."
"Why did the sloths vote to keep the coal mines open? Because when it comes to energy they're conservative."