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Joke of the Day
"I wish I was a helicase enzyme... ...because then I could unzip your genes"
Next Joke
"They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says ""Eating Doritos""."
"What do you call a microscope that when you look through it you see really bad things? A horoscope."
"Obama's announcement Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of ""U.S. Government"" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government."
"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again."
"I got a free iPad and iPhone today. It's like... this gun is magic!!!"
"My life would be a lot easier if when shopping online there was a ""Sort by least ugly"" option."
"Cat: Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk...Grrrrrplukk... [ *Coughs up hairball* ] Dog: You gonna eat that?"
"I wanked over a blind girl yesterday. She never saw me coming."
"Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z"