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Joke of the Day

"Which songs do planets sing? Neptunes."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Iran? Because there's a JC Penny at every corner."

"If you played pokemon in Brazil, you might catch a Zikachu"

"My wife said we each needed to make sacrifices to make our relationship work. She was less than impressed with the dead goat I left in our kitchen."

"Two Dicks... Two dicks were hanging out at a bar."

"Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet? ...He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up? ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the ""hole"" show."

"Who will take the second shot in this snooker game? Find out after the break."

"Someday I'll find a good commie joke... Marx my words."

"Roy Hodgson has some really important decisions to make now. Like if he wants a window or aisle seat."

"Wait til the people so excited about all-day breakfast at McDonald's find out they can make breakfast at home whenever they want."