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Joke of the Day

"My street looks like a garbage dump... ...litter ally!"

"I got banned from the sperm bank the other day... They said I couldn't come within five hundred feet of the building."

"People who are mad that we don't have hoverboards yet are VERY forgiving of the fact that we still have, like, racism."

"I scratch your back, you scratch mine. We die from loss of blood."

"What was Cambodia's biggest export in the 90s? Pol Potting mix."

"I can't stand people who end sentences with prepositions! It just pisses me off!"

"He is so dumb he thinks an agent is someone who keeps track of your age!"

"I remember when people just wanted to date someone with personality..but noOoo, now everyone's gotta have multiple."

"Kids these days have Wikipedia... When I was a kid, all I had was a drunk uncle."

"Which snake is the best at counting Nigerians? A Black Adder"