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Joke of the Day

"You wanna hear a dirty joke A horse fell in the mud. And then some crazy lesbian who hates horses put on a strap on and fucked it till it died."

"What do you call fast food emergencies? Emergen-cheese. :3"

"What is the worst part about going to Auschwitz? Your dreams are not the only thing going up in smokes."

"I had to take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All the beeping was giving me a headache and making me sleepy."

"When someone asks me to think outside the box. I think about anal sex."

"How do you get a kid to stay low to the ground? ""DUCK!"" How do you get a kid up and running? ""GOOSE!"""

"I hate airplanes and flying. It's like someone throwing a can full of people over the ocean and hoping someone in Europe will catch it."

"Why are men faster than women? Ball bearings and stick shift."

"[First date] Me: ""So, what do you do?"" Date: ""I'm a librarian."" Me: ""Oh, my bad."" *Whispers for the entire rest of the date*"

"I recently had to stop making clothes for nuns... It was habit-forming."