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Joke of the Day

"Armed man come in to the bank an told everyone to be cool, so i put my shades on an lent against the wall... Fucker still shot me!"

Next Joke
 
"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and I'm like ""Get outta here boys! I didn't get this chubby by sharing my milkshakes!"""
"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph, because he is not a full essay."
"6yo lured girls to our beach umbrella by shaking a bag of Cheetos at them & it worked so guys, feel free to steal his fool-proof method."
"They should harvest the excess fat from fat people to turn into fossil fuels, to solve the world energy problems. Or world hunger."
"There are two kinds of people. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information"
"How to make her squirt: make sure she is a lime"
"Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread. (my wife tells this joke to everyone and no one but me has ever laughed)"
"When people say 'oh, you're still single?' I like to reply with 'wow, you're still married?' I'm popular."
"Pot bellied pigs are gateway pigs to cocaine bellied pigs."