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Joke of the Day

"How many comedians does it take to change a light bulb? Dunno. Never been able to get them past the question."

"What is the sheeps market called? The Baa-zar."

"Why did the nickel jump of the building but the dime did not? Because the dime had more cents."

"I hope the mysterious food thief at the office enjoys the dog food marinara and Jello with my toenail clippings I made for him/her."

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."

"[sits son down after he didn't win science fair] son, tomorrow some will call me ""hero"" others will call me ""guy who fought a teacher"""

"Why do girls wear make up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"A lot of people say I'm condescending... (That means I talk down to people)"

"What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted :)"

"I never sign anything until I pretend to read it first.."