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Joke of the Day

"*With only office supplies, she diffuses the bomb with 1 second to spare* Boss: What are you doing? Me: *shoves action figures in desk.*"

"What is the difference between a blimp and 365 blowjobs? One is a Goodyear, the other is a Great year!"

"Anonymous just switched everyone in Isis from Amazon Prime shipping to basic shipping. Good luck getting Fallout 4 by Christmas terrorists!"

"Nothing makes you look like an alcoholic more than not knowing how you got a cut on your face."

"Are you guys sure common sense can't be beaten into people ? Because I'd like to give it try!"

"I hope Death is a woman That way it will never come for me"

"Everyone complains about the weather but noone's sacrificing a virgin to change it either."

"A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder."

"Make sure you don't forget the 'R' when you're Googling, ""movies of Gary Oldman."""