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Joke of the Day

"For sale: 2 dead birds (Not going cheep)"

"This banker I know has absolutely no friends... I think he's loanly"

"If I ever have a stroke I'm going to tell kids that stare I was making a face when the wind changed and then I had a stroke."

"If you like the song ""Red Red Wine"" then U B 40."

"My BFF asked me to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom. I asked her what it was going to do. I'm hilarious. Everyone says so."

"What do women and KFC have in common? One you are finished with the breast and the thighs, you still have a greasy box to put your bone"

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa"

"The past, present, and future walked into a bar... It was tense."

"Man, I really messed up making this award for best feline anus... It's a cat ass trophy."