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Joke of the Day

"I'm afraid our fetish-friendly sex robot won't be ready on time. We haven't worked out all the kinks yet."

"[running from cop] *cop catches me* ""Get on the ground or I'll taze ya"" *pulls jellyfish from pocket* ""Look they were all out of tazers"""

"Did you hear about the misanthropic statistician? 100% of people can go fuck themselves. Told to me by a cab driver in New Orleans."

"Establish your dominance with the drive-thru attendant by saying, ""That completes my order"" before they ask."

"Why is faith greater than science? Science made buildings and planes but faith brought them together."

"What did the barber say to the Potato? ""You've got eyes on the back of your head!"""

"What do you call a telephone call from one vicar to another ? A parson to parson call !"

"What part of your computer is most likely to molest your child? The PDF file. What part of your computer is most likely to molest your child? The PDF file."

"Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding? A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt."

"I would tell the one about Jonestown.. But the punch line is too long"