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Joke of the Day

"Going on Reddit is a lot like having sex You have fun for about 30 minutes then it all ends and you look back at the mess you just made."

"My dad's not an alcoholic... ...He just collects empty bottles, sounds so much better, doesn't it? ~ Stewart Francis"

"Imagine a drunk porcupine trying to sneak into bed without waking his porcupine wife but his porcupine wife put balloons everywhere."

"Why do people at Disneyland hate coke heads? They're always cutting lines"

"""Of course I can paint your ceiling,"" Michaelangelo scoffed. ""Gonna paint a bunch of dudes with their dicks out on it though."""

"I heard you like bad boys? *jumps in pool after eating without waiting an hour* Sup."

"I told my friend I hope to deliver a joke half as well as her some day. Sadly, we men will never know the joys of childbirth."

"How did the babysitter lose 500 kids and keep her job? She swallowed"

"What's long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine filled with cum."

"I like when players of opposite teams hug after the game as if to say, ""We're all so very, very rich."""