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Joke of the Day

"You shouldn't eat Xmas decorations You will get tinselitis"

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"Why does Snoop Dog carry around an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."
"I need to start buying Tupperware to store my leftovers before throwing them out two weeks later."
"I have Tindr hair.... It's messy, dry, and I swipe it to the right hoping for good looking results."
"I feel like if Joe Biden and Kanye West were involved in a Freaky Friday scenario no one would notice for months."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic guy playing Bingo? When he filled in a row, he yelled, ""BOING!"""
"If I can't stand on a counter top display at Home Depot and shit in the sink then we are truly living in a fascist society."
"What's the difference between BMWs and porcupines? On porcupines, the pricks are on the outside."
"I was told that tipping your server is normal in America But apparently this will get you fired as a systems administrator."
"Q: What did the snowman say to the other snowman? A: ""Do you smell carrot?"""