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Joke of the Day

"Hillary's mad at Satan Hillary: Satan! We had a deal! Where's the election victory that you promised me? Satan: Where's the soul that you said you had?"

"Plane turbulence is caused by flying over hot areas, flying over mountains, and you getting up to use the airplane bathroom"

"I'd have to say, on a scale from 1 to Pee... urinate"

"So a man goes and tells his wife he's going to take the day off..."

"Everyone working at a bank looks like if you said ""Marry me and I'll take you away from all this,"" they'd instantly scream ""Yes!"""

"Q: What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? A: Are you my mother?"

"How many bros does it take to change a light bulb? None. They prefer Natural Light."

"It makes me sad that the closest I'll ever get to 'hulking out' is splitting my trousers when I bend over."

"I almost got raped in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously."

"Pool donations, what is up with that? One day this guy came up to my front door asking for donations to the local pool, I told him I would be right back. I came back and handed him a glass a water."