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Joke of the Day

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermit the frogs middle finger"

"I'm celibate because i don't give a fuck."

"If you were 8 yrs old when ""red red wine"" was released UB40 now"

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They're both stuck up cunts."

"Why Kobe's Still Married Kobe: What do you want for your birthday this year? Vanessa: I want a divorce! Kobe: I wasn't planning on spending that much this year. Here's another ring."

"[impatiently yells] ""What do I have to do to get a margarita around here??"" And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen."

"In congested traffic, it's best to stay on the right side of the road. It'd be a real tragedy if you were on the wrong side."

"I recently watched the news medias report on the presidential coverage. That's the joke."

"i forgot to mention those pills i gave you might turn you into a sloth [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] [jim is typing] ""ok"""

"Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don't know. Inspirational statuses are hard"