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Joke of the Day

"Why did the baker have dirty hands? Because he kneaded a poo."

"What do you call a priest who has had too much sacramental wine? An Alcatholic."

"They should make custom Starbucks cards that say, ""I wouldn't normally be buying your coffee, but I got this gift card."""

"JOB INTERVIEWER: So what are your biggest weaknesses? HE-MAN: Well, I- *job interviewer's fake mustache falls off and it's Skeletor*"

"My son just got his brown belt in Tae Kwon Do. If you threaten him, he bows respectfully before he runs."

"I probably couldn't even keep a picture of a plant alive."

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"

"I went through Walmart's self-checkout the other day And damn, the cashier was sexy."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."

"What do you call a Chinese lady with no legs? Dragon lips. And a Mexican lady with no legs? Consuelo."