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Joke of the Day

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow blower? Give the bitch a shovel."

"What is the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in your mouth."

"What do you call a fat Taylor Swift? Taylor not so Swift"

"There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count. Those who can't."

"I'm so poor I can only afford Middle Ramen."

"Why doesnt McDonalds serve snail? Because of sanitation reasons."

"Nostalgia Sure isn't what it used to be."

"....So carrying a ""wet floor"" sign and putting it down immediately after using your best pickup line on a woman is frowned upon!"

"It's Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 6 for my wife I thought it was a good trade. Thanks to /u/darcyboy on this one!"

"DONT SIT IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR EXAMINING YOUR FLAWS. QUIT IT. THEY ARENT REALLY THERE. ITS ALL IN YOUR HEAD. BE CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE!!!"