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Joke of the Day

"What's an activity 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape"

"I hate it when I'm trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera."

"Have you ever smelled mothballs? How did you get their tiny legs apart?"

"Hello sir. Your toddler called me a 'stinky poopyhead' at the store. I've spent 6 days formulating a comeback, and I'd like to own him now."

"I'm so tired of hearing people complain about being hung over. Just stop your wining."

"If a lion ever bites off your arm, try to chew some of his hair off before you run away. He deserves to look stupid until it grows back."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in a microwave until it's Bill Withers."

"I don't ALWAYS post filthy tweets, but when I do, it is right after I'm followed by someone with ""my Lord and Savior"" in their bio."

"Why do people with the Flu stand in corners? Its always 90 Degrees"

"Why do ghosts eat more sandwiches than bears? Because there's more sandwiches in your fridge. };)"